I'm reconnecting with God and Christ. (=

For two years I have felt and emptyness in my heart. Ever since I switched religions I have felt that hole. I never knew why I felt that way, but then, the other night, I was watching TV (Golden Girls, to be exact). In the show, Sophia died and went to Heaven. Her husband, Sal, was there and then God appeared (as thunder, but still). And then I started thinking, "Huh...why have I been feeling empty inside? Why has my depression started coming back for no reason?" Then I knew that it was God that had been keeping me whole. I'm going to start reconnecting to God and to Christ. I had always felt whole with Them in my heart and my life. And now I'm starting to feel whole again. (= It's a wonderful feeling.

Been almost two months since my last journal entry.
My birthday occured on August 18th. I'm officially 18. (= I had a sursprise party a few days later. Loved it!
College is hectic. I'm enjoying Writing, Math (even though it's like review), and ROTC. I'm not enjoying Chem or Bio (go figure, I'm a bio major).
Um...
I'm in a sorority! Alpha Sigma Tau! I got my Big Sister last night. Her name's Shannan. (=
I don't really have much to say...if I haven't already talked to you about all this in more than one occation, well that's your loss. xD

I'm almost 18 years old. Wow. I kinda want to just stay a "kid". But I know I have to grow up and continue with my life. My birthday's on Tuesday. I'm excited for college, even though all my family is stressing me out so much that I'm starting to break out. I've been really stressed about my birthday and about college. I'm not exactly excited for this birthday. Only Allen is going to be there, but that's okay. And my parents, of course. I don't know what we're gonna do since it's gonna be so hot out. But anyway.

Katie's luncheon is today at Olive Garden and then dessert at her house. It's a graduation/birthday party for her since everyone's busy moving into colleges and stuff around the 30th (I am). So yeah. I wonder if I'll get anything? Probably not. Ah well, it's not my party. I'm probably not even going to get anything on my own birthday except cards, but oh well. Guess that's to be expected as I get older. I didn't ask for anything, anyways.

Tomorrow is Iesha's baby shower. Yay! Another niece (or nephew, she goes in today to find out)! I'm excited to see her, Jada and Samuel again. I haven't seen them in a long time and I miss them bunches. I'll make some pictures for all three of them, as well as the new little baby-to-be.

I move in to my dorm on August 30th. I'm excited for it, but at the same time I'm not anymore. I've just been so stressed out. I know things'll fall into place. I just hope they do so soon before I end up totally depressed again.

Yesterday was my high school graduation. Yes, I am free from high school forever! I have high honors, a GPA of 3.5667, and I am a very happy (and sun-burnt faced) person. The graduation wasn't all that long, less than an hour and a half, but I still got beat by the sun. It hurts to scratch my nose and cheeks. More sun damage on top of past years' sun damage. Sigh.
Anyway. I hung out with Allen all yesterday afterward until Cassie's party. He tickled me to death, we played cards, had a good time. His sister being the klutz she is, fell and hurt her hand pretty badly on glass. She apparently cut her tendon. Lovely thinking about it. My own tendons hurt thinking about it. So, we couldn't get a ride for Allen because I can't drive anyone yet until July 6th. A whole month longer, big whoop. But we managed to get Allen a ride from Adam's dad. At the party were lots of friends. We hung out, danced, ate. Had fun. I beat Emily at checkers (again xD) and almost had a lapdance from Mike. xDD It was funny. I felt like I was having cramps later on, though, but my period had ended the night/two nights before. So...I don't know what was up with that. I felt sick today, too. Still don't know why.
Anyway. Thinking about baby keeps me happy (no, I'm not preggo, and I'm not going to get preggo any time soon), and I know I shouldn't be thinking about it "at my age because this is supposed to be the time of my life, blahblahblah." Well, sorry, it just happens. Me and Allen are waiting until college is at least over. All I'm saying is that I think about it most when I'm driving, and having my little boy or little girl in the car seat behind me, looking out at the world. I'm not thinking about trying to conceive now. I have my reasons. I don't need to list them here.
Other than that, I'm trying to find a job (which I might be getting one tomorrow apparently) and just going to focus on college and my birthday in August (and Iesha and Samuel's birthdays in July). I'm hoping this summer will be smooth sailing.

Allen and mine's one year was yesterday. Although we didn't do much, it was really nice just to be with each other.
We went to Tully Lake with dad 'cause he wanted to check it out. It's really nice up there and I could actually breathe for once yesterday.
We had our anniversary cake. Four layers of chocolate. Tasted amazing.
We layed around on the couch, played on our DS's, and just cuddled. It was simple, nice, and fun.

He slept over, too. I had gotten a whooping twenty minutes of sleep before school on Friday because I was so excited that it was the last day and that Allen was sleeping over. I managed to function very well throughtout the school day. HELLZ YEAH! SENIOR YEAR AND HIGH SCHOOL LIFE IS OVER FOR GOOD! I continually fell asleep with Allen...well, I was the one that kept falling asleep for 10-20 minutes at a time. It was nice, but I am still extremely tired.
We went to go see "Up" and I must say, I LOVED IT!! <3 I don't care if I'm a teen, almost "adult by society", I love Disney movies, and Disney/Pixar movies are amazing, too. DUG! I love Dug. Allen really liked the movie, too. (I almost cried at one part.)
Allen bought my Pokemon Platnium. I'm thankful for all that he does for me, and I do feel guilty sometimes that he buys me such nice things and treats me so well.. I love you, Allen, more than anything.
And then...we ate, layed around some more, chilled, relaxed, I started my period, etc.
Allen slept over. It was nice. We were downstairs laying on the pull-out couch bed thing, and we had fallen asleep. When the end of the episode was on, I woke up and kissed him goodnight and went upstairs. I was out like a light. Then, not very long later, I felt a presence behind me just looming there. I opened my eyes and turned around, and there was Allen. He smiled, told me he was going to the bathroom, but wanted to kiss me goodnight, and then he gave me a hug and kiss then went to the bathroom. As soon as he closed the door, I was out like a light again.
He woke up at 7:00-7:30-ish and I woke up at 9:30. He didn't have much to do, but it was nice coming out of the bathroom and seeing him there waiting for me. (= It was really nice..
So yeah. That was the weekend with him.

I love you, Allen. More than anything in the world.